Trying to Keep My Meditation Journal

Sunday, October 20, 2013

I am trying to keep this Meditation journal. It is not easy to keep it but it should be kept by me. I need a journal to keep remembering. I have written diary and journal for almost eleven years. I never want to end the diary and journal. Ok, I am going to tell you what’s on my day:

I, unhappily woke up real late in the afternoon and I missed my morning. It sadden me. I need the better daily routine.

I wish to leave home because of I live in annoyance. I want to finish it but I have to accept stuck it. :( But I need a space to breathe and quiet, so that to let me finish my works. It is so hard for me to find a place to live that I can afford on my own. 

Things to do For Today

Sunday, September 29, 2013

Today I organized spiritually. What did I organize? I cleaned up some stuff and put neatly.

I went to Golden buffet with my family. The food was good and made me get full. But the biscuit was not the best. Well, I enjoyed my dinner.

After buffet, I went to CVS pharmacy for purchasing some saving items. It is not easy to save more money especially economy is still bad. We stay positive.

Watching "Evil" Movie

Sunday, September 8, 2013

Last night, I watched the Swedish movie called “Evil”. It is all about how evil the residential supervisor is! It was a misleading guidance to the school dorm and the residential students were feeling horrified about sadistic beating them up and making fun of them.

Erik Ponti lived with his mother and cold-hearted stepfather in Stockholm. Erik was not appreciated with his sadistic stepfather. And he was not happy with his boarding school.

The Sad News About the Death of My Dear Friend Keke

Friday, September 6, 2013

I’m expressing the sad news about the death of my dear friend, Keke. On Wednesday, September 4, 2013, Keke was found dead in her bed in the morning. The cause of her death is unknown. Some rumour said she was died from oversleep but is actually uncertainty for what cause her death. Her son is taken to her parents’ house for care. Keke was a good friend to me. But shame on me, I left her for avoiding negative obsession about a son of a bitch who stole my €762.20 in 2011. I haven’t talk to her for two years. I felt guilty. I wish that I spend time with her before her death. But is too late now and I can’t take Keke back as reunited friend. So terrible sad to me. I was crying and wailing almost all night and Mother tried to comfort me. She said that I will see Keke again in the new system that Jehovah God promised me if I can do anything He want. I’ll be a decent person for Him.

Back to School and I'm still learning :)

Monday, September 2, 2013

Yesterday was the first day of September. Soon the children will all going back to school. But some of them are already back to school in early August. I miss the school and the schoolmate but is good to have no homework for me. Because of homework gives me stress. However, homework is a good thing that give teacher an easy job. Anyway, school is a good place for people to learn. Without school, how will they know? It is important to keep the education in people’s life. So I finish graduated high school. But, is that all I am done with school? There is more I can do to keep learning something new. I still take the classes by myself teaching. It is all called myself a self-schooled lady. What classes am I taking? I am taking French, Bible Study, History, Global Studies, Life Study, Biography, and after classes’ activities are art, photography, nature, heart intensity, photo/video/writing editing, and ASL performances. These are never letting me stop doing.

My Renewed Facebook/ Picking up Mother and Noki From Airport

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

 Last Saturday, I renewed Facebook account for the Bible, my family, my friends, and my fans. Right now I still clean up the stuff from first Facebook account after nearly six years of that period. I want to restart the new Facebook like a book of life.

Yesterday, I, papa, and Brother Rosado travelled together for picking up Mother and Noki up from Orlando airport. After we picked them up, we went out to eat McDonalds and then visited to International route where there are so many excited people have fun. We had a good time. Mother and Noki had a wonderful time at their beautiful vacation in San Diego, California. I wish I could go but I did not have a good saving account due to the cruel selfish of Bond. The good thing is Maria, a Mexican woman who has a good saving account is to receive a lot of coupons. She suggests us to look for coupons from the garbage or get from a nice neighbours who don’t want coupons. We thanked her! She’s like a Mexican poetess received many coupons for her honeymoon in Paris with her future poet husband, Alan. Luck them! Maybe I will try and see if that is working for me to reach Paris.

What is the truth? Talked by 3 days Convention

Monday, July 29, 2013

I want to tell you about what happened to me in the last weekend. I went to district convention for three days. The theme of these is teaching me the truth. However, some scriptures do not match what the men are trying to teach me. I am strongly disagree with a man tell me to leave the pets out for the long journey. Because it sounds like the animal cruelty to me. I’m serious! I’m not laughing about that. Why I say that? Because of I believe that the animals are life and should not be killed. I want to be a vegetarian but Mother worries about my interest. She want me to eat any protein stuff. Okay. Anyway, so, the discourses are all about the truth – some not the truth to be honest. What is the truth? The truth is fact. It means what you see not what you hear the words. So why do I have to believe the discourses? I only believe in Jehovah God and the Bible. That it. Yours, Loi

The Ruthless Society

Monday, July 8, 2013

I want to write the subject of the ruthless society. Here is my story below:

There is the ruthless society happens as always in my life. No peace. The bad traits are distant, reserved, concrete thinking, reactive emotionally, unchangeable way, affected by feelings, easily upset, threat-sensitive, nonsense, rough, trustful not, dishonest, etc. all these are disastrous to the naïve.

            The word “ruthless” can be a low range as the rough personality. For example, demand to give the money is cruelty to the poor ones.

            The study of Behavioral therapy shows the way of patients do with other patients in the mental hospital. For example, a chair has no name. So what a patient do with that chair? He took it from other patient and that is so rude. If you have a friend who acts crazy, then you might want to help him get to the treatment.

In my belief, I do not want to associate with a person who is still act unkind to me. Do you agree? If not, then you think ridiculously.

That is all I wrote it. Yours, Loi

What I Was Doing for Today July 1st...

Monday, July 1, 2013

Today is July! And soon America will turn to 237 on Thursday.

I woke up early in the morning and did examine the scriptures Exodus chapters 22 to 24. And at 8:30am, I went back to study French and the Bible again. And at 10:30am, I made the nut-chocolate chip cookies! :) It’s making my day.

I went to the welfare office with my family and we grabbed the income that we need for the next lease of this nice apartment.

After welfare office, we went to Sam Club, Village of Market, and Family Dollars and we collected the big food and a folder that we need. With our good satisfaction. :)

Okay, that is all I said. Have a good night. Yours, Loi

Disappointed About No Ride Show Up

Thursday, June 27, 2013

I was supposed to have my first psychiatrist appointment today. But the problem is no ride show up at my apartment. I am disappointed. I don’t know what’s going on and why no ride show up. I called the Health Care and found out apologize to me. Nice excuse. Well, I try my best to forgive them. Tomorrow morning appointment with my doctor, I hope it will not happen again. I need doctor because of I’ve been sick and fatigue most of the time.

Tonight I checked email and received no reaction from my appealing letter about “Territory H 47”. I think a “spiritual brother” ignore the note that I added to write and “he” prefer me to meet in person on Saturday. Wait and see; I hope I receive an email tomorrow. But if not, then fine with me. 

Inappropriate for preaching the sinning area, nude bar?

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

After meeting, I gave the orange folder “Territory H47” with my appealing letter from recently Sunday service… I was not happy to serve with my elder and young “spiritual brother”. However, I gave them a half smile. Anyway, about the letter that I wrote. This is all about if it is inappropriate for preaching the sinning area. Here is a picture of what I wrote below:

The letter above must be serious to think is wrong to preach the nude bar. So, what will the letter receivers react? Let’s see of what will happen on Saturday.

Okay, that is all I said. Have a good night! Yours, Loi 

Bus Driver Fired Over Facebook Post - CNN News

Wednesday, June 12, 2013 

I woke up at 5am and got up at 5:30am to do something. I read the news about the school bus driver, Johnny Cook got fired from casual superintend. The reason why he got fired is because Johnny had post his Facebook about a middle school boy told him that he got hungry all day. The school don’t give him lunch, they only charges him forty cents. The boy do not have these cents on his account. Plus, the school cafeteria throws the unwanted food away and not feed him. That is SO wrong. How can that boy survive without food? What is wrong with that school system? Sadly, Satan is in this school.

I went back to self-schooled lady and study French, the Bible, post the self-employed article on Triond, and watched Anne Frank documentary on YouTube. Also, I study the English vocabulary words, the new words from Snow falling on cedars book. It’s fun to learn and never want to stop. I keep my mind busy and an effort to move on although I still struggle to eliminate the dark past. 

Watching a Chinese Movie, In the Moods for Love

Friday, June 7, 2013

I went to the bank today for depositing a check from Noki. Done. And then I went out and bought something with my family. It was a nice time.

I watched a Chinese movie called In the Moods for Love. This is all about affair but a good thing is just a platonic love. Well, it must be an adultery when not keep an eye on a spouse, eye for another man or woman. So the next time I won’t watch it again. Although I like the sound of music. It’s beautiful. But, I won’t watch it again.

The New Vocabulary Words from Snow falling on cedars Book

Thursday, June 6, 2013

Today is no sunny. It’s all dark and so we stay at home.

My love quote <3

I watched the two movies and I don’t like them. After watching them, I collected some movies from 2005 and made them the film lists. And then I planned to create a sentence from new vocabulary words in Snow falling on cedars book. I will do it. I also edited my photo and posted it on my second lovely Instagram where I don’t add a request to my particular people.

That is all I said. I’m trying to get a good night sleep. 

So I'm 29

Monday, June 3, 2013

A photo of me was taken by May 15, 

2013

Yesterday was my birthday. I’m 29! Wow. The time go fast and I will be 30 by next year. No. No, I don’t want to get old. Well, I enjoy my life with worry-free.

Today is a fine day. The position of my bedroom is changed. It looks better now than before. Before was not easy. I got hit by seat.

This evening, I had to leave my home for the workplace of my parents’ friends. I enjoyed petting a cat. She’s so cute. She have the white fur and beautiful blue eyes. Luckily, I almost got bitten by her. But I don’t feel hurt. Whew!

Tonight I watched a movie called “Billy Elliott”. It is all about an eleven-year-old boy switched to ballet from boxing class. That is a good thing. Boxing is bad because of I know it can hurt to punch by someone else. And ballet is a good thing for my niece, Rida to practice. But this movie is not for her. Why not? Because of this movie is an adult content and rate is R. So, maybe her mother, Maggie can watch that movie by alone.

Pah My Return of ASL Music "Industry" and I watched "The Cider House Rules"

Monday, May 13, 2015

Recently and today I finally come back to film my performance in ASL music video. My last film was in March 13, 2013. That was two months ago. Wow! It’s because of my fatigue. So I was trying come back to ASL music “industry” of my own.

Tonight I watched the beautiful movie called “The Cider House Rules”. That movie is all about gynecologist who aided the inside of the woman’s body, worked as a Cider House, and saw the world. His doctor cared his heart.

Breaking News: Boston Marathon bombing

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

I was supposed to write you more on April 23, 2013 but because of I did not feel like writing this diary.

In the middle of last month, everything going on Boston Marathon bombing in Boston area. More than 200 people were mourned and suffered from the death of their loved ones. It's so SAD  to hear the horrifying news.

President Obama found out that the terrorists who did in Boston are Tamerlan Tsarnaev, 26, and Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, 19, the Chechen brothers. Add to the police found more than these brothers  that did accomplice them before the time of bombing. Many people in America want death penalty for Dzhokhar because of what he did with his older brother, Tamerlan. They have the sight of Tsarnaev brothers' action which is careless about their previous life before the time of bombing. It's all about straight to the point that media causes people to believe.

Jehovah, I wait for his kingdom to come. He decides rather he raise Tamerlan up from death to the new world or not. And many young spiritual brothers will probably want to meet Tamerlan. His boxer coach said that Tamerlan was a nice, ongoing, very respectful, and a good husband to Katherine Russell. But Tamerlan abused his wife Katherine and called her "slut", an insult word. It was wrongful for him to change and radicalized the new religion, the extremist religion is Islam in 2009. His uncle, Ruslan Tsarni was so concerned about Tamerlan's adjustment. He had not contacted Tamerlan or Tamerlan did not contact Ruslan since 2010. That is sad.

I will write more news soon. Since I studied the Global Studies with Sister Melrose at St. Mary's School for the Deaf started in the fall of 2000 (until now I'm still be a school lady). This world is mine as Sister Melrose said is very important to read the newspaper every day. But she did not offer me to read the Bible every day. She's Catholic, I used to be Catholic. I thought that Catholic is true religion and my mother not accept it. She labeled Catholic "false religion". And commands me to believe Jehovah's Witnesses the only true religion. Okay, I am reading and researching the Bible every day. It helps me to know which religion that is right for me which is very important.

I'm off to bed now. Good night.

Yours, Loiriam

Oral Issue

Monday, April 22, 2013

Again I woke up at 5 0'clock in the morning and I got something to do. 

I got something to tell you what I missed writing about before April 11, 2013. On the 4th of this month, I was finally went to dental appointment. However, without a professional interpreter, Mother was feeling pain her neck. But a good thing she did try to help me get information from dentist. He explained to me the same info as I got from three years ago in Eastman Institute for Oral Health. I have an oral issue. The symptoms of this are gum disease, tooth decay, and jaw pain. Other than these are more complicates. I was supposed to have oral surgery in 2010 but was postponed due to miscommunication. I hope here in Tampa, thing is going well to my condition.

I will write more tomorrow.

Yours, Loiriam

Special Circuit/My Brother Wants My Photos Be Enough on Instagram

Saturday, April 20, 2013

Last night I was sleepover to Pattie's home for today special circuit in Plant City. It is easy for Pattie to accept me sleepover her home because of since I have no driver's license. That would be good if I have it, I can leave whatever time I want. As you know, I'm a busy woman. But I allow her and drivers to use my time. 

Today special circuit discourse is all about how to safeguard our conscience. I read the Bible explains from the beginning, Adam and Eve disobeyed God. Eventually, they had spread out the sin to humans and then to die. I keep practicing forgive anyone's mistake. That is my best effort. It is not easy to hold against anyone because of my feeling offend me. But I keep trying my best to stay closer to brothers and sisters.

When I got home from assembly hall, I did something to do and I noticed my brother asked me what Mother's phone number. I don't answer him because  of that is her decision to not to talk to him. He said, "Jehovah's Witnesses are very mean religion." Later then, he block me from my Instagram. This is the first time my brother block me. I have never have him block me in my life. At first, he did unfollow me when my pictures weren't what he like without block me. But then today he just block me. He said, "You use Instagram which is not right." I have 440 photos and he have 96 on Instagram. My brother want enough, and so he block me. Fine, I don't care about if people like my pictures or not. I like Chris Martin from my favourite band, Coldplay says, "I don't care about if people don't like us, we care about people who like us." Wow, he is strong and have grace. Life is good, it needs to be precious. Suicide is not the answer, what I do is to stay on the caring path. That it is to ignore the people who have no life and always have a drama issue on me. So I keep moving on from the past as the last talk  of today special circuit encourages me to gain my strength and get out of the depression site and do something with people. That will make me happy. Tomorrow I need to be back to the flexibility again. 

Kylie Minogue Will Be a Rapper? What!?

Thursday, April 11, 2013

It has been not writing for a long time since March 28, 2013. Wow! Let me tell you the whole thing. It is not normal because of I get so much pressure since today I got a little bit guilty. But if it is truly ignorant, I actually didn't say one word as race. I'm not a racist. I just mean that Kylie Minogue is not look good on being a rapper. But her fan, he is looking like a Mexican to me threatened at me, called me would be killed. So I reported him an abusive content. He's really a son of a bitch! He need to be finished and so I blocked him. Wow! I can't believe what I'm doing to him. But I ain't do nothing! 

Applying a Job With My Job Coach and Good Time at Busch Garden

Thursday, March 28, 2013

This afternoon I met Sashy, a job coach at Dunkin Donuts in Radiant Gas Station. That place is not nice. I did not purchase Dunkin Donuts for lunch because of I picked Subway. I also bought lemonade drink in front of a male cashier that I tried to be kind to him because of he did not understand me. Anyway, during session with Sashy, we applied a bakery job together online but we searched for different jobs and applied already. So let's see if the company plans to call me, I'll inform Sashy. 

After Session with Sashy, my family and I went to Busch Garden, an expensive entertainment. I will pay €116.07 for a year, not every month bills. Wow! It's too much money for me. But a good thing is not necessary to pay the monthly bills. Because of what if I do not have money for bills? It is better to pay fully as pay off. I had a good time.

My Life, My Old Friend, Walking Outdoor With Fresh, and Watching Basquiat movie

Monday, March 25, 2013

My life is not really easy. Things are not too well for me. Because of I'm trying to keep my schedule like a good habit every day. Last week Tuesday, I missed my appointment with Sashy. Oh, my goodness. What's wrong with me? My attention have a problem which distracted me a lot. I need a treatment of how to re-focus on times and positions. And I also miss a lot on flexibility activity. Because of I do not wake up and get up at 5:00 A.M.  every morning. I always miss my day and home school. Depression have me is still happening. Alerted me go as I did call another psychiatrist for making the first appointment. She was all set on April 1, 2013. Okay, I'll need to go and share my issues with her. 

Other than that happens in above, today I walked outdoor with fresh. I mailed my old friend, Geraldine that I show her how much I miss her. Yesterday I called Geraldine through videophone but the number is no more. So I decided to write a long I Miss You letter and mail her today. After I mailed Geraldine, I walked, sat down near the pond and took some pictures. It was a beautiful day outside which make my day.  

This evening, I watched a movie called Basquiat. This movie is about Jean Michel-Basquiat, an American painter of French, Haitian, and Afro-Puerto Rican descents was painting the wall and the paper, also on the ground and on the garment. He was collaborating with the late Andy Warhol. It was amazing that people would like to buy it. Sadly, tragic occurred when it comes to the heroin drugs that killed Jean at the age of 27. But his legacy of paintings are alive today that people like and will like to buy some of them.

The Grow Group Is Better Than PRIDE

Friday, March 8, 2013  

 Again last week Friday, I went to meet Sashy at Barnes & Noble. I was pressured to rush in and get ready for that. Even the reason I told her is that because of my parents' car is still fixing. Sashy came to pick me up. Oh, no! I wasn't ready for that. 

In meeting with Sashy, Sashy made a better resume for me. She's better than Stephanie, my former job coach from PRIDE. That's great! I hope to get hired sooner. Sashy gave me a new Gmail account and made it on my own because of it need to be generally professional. So tonight I set a theme on it. And then I looked at my other Gmail account and I started to clean up some messages. I read the old messages from PRIDE and my previous employer. Ah, that was almost three years ago since I left a job for worship meetings on every Wednesday night. So now on I move on to The Grow Group from PRIDE. PRIDE have nothing to do with me. The reason is I am currently a new dweller of Tampa. They don't know that I live here Tampa. That's a good thing. I forget PRIDE. Now The Grow Group is still new to me and let's see of how the task progress is doing with me.

My First Bad Strawberry Festival Day-3/3/13

Sunday, March 3, 2013 

Today is my first bad day at Strawberry Festival. I wish that it is not my day. Oh, God. Why is that happen? When I came to Strawberry Festival, I at first was trying to withdraw €14.95 but I picked the wrong pin over three times and now my credit card is declined. I'm really disappointed. And Cassie don't care about it. She think that it is nothing. She did not listen to my suggestion to her before ATM at festival is to take my check, withdrawal, and then give me the cash instead of loan. Interesting to see how smart she is. She play with my mind. This is not the type of friendship I want. Grr!  

The Inca Indian music

The Inca Indian man is dancing

The Inca Indians selected the attenders to come

and dance with them.

Daisy, the Cute Female Cow

The hen is eating.

The hen is satisfied.

The Senior White Rabbit

The Shopping List from the cute cow show

This is new and interesting to me. Drinking milk 

is good for your teeth and bone.

 Here is a polite complaint friendship letter to let Cassie know how I feel about what she did to me at Strawberry Festival. I hope she accept listening to this letter. 

Meeting With My New Job Coach and The Biggest Day in Deaf Expo

Saturday, March 2, 2013

Before meeting with my new job coach, I drank the 

creamy latte in Starbucks and Barnes&Noble.

I got to tell you about yesterday meeting with a new job coach from my old job coach. Her name is Sashy. She not know ASL. So she provide me an ASL interpreter. Alright, we discussed about finding a job, what skills I have, and salary. Also, I filled a form for enrolling The Grow Group. This is similar as PRIDE of Rochester. But let see if she can help me find a job.

After meeting with Sashy, I went to Barnes&Noble and search the book of the real life diarist, a girl. The name of her book is "Zlata's Diary: A Child's Life in Wartime Sarajevo". However, I could not find it. It seems that the bookstore don't sell Zlata's diary. It's strange that I only see Freedom Writers Diary and Anne Frank's diary. That must be wrong. Well, I will order Zlata's on Amazon.com soon.

Today is the biggest day for me. I felt so tired. I went out to the Deaf Expo, my first time with meeting the new people and helping them to learn more about Jehovah. But I haven't meeting any of them because of it is too crowd for me. I will not go there again unless if I change my mind, I will go there again.