My Day of Frustration

Friday, January 11, 2013

I got up real late in the same as yesterday, my goodness. I try to make a better routine for my day. For example, my family needs me. So I need to prepare before the day. And I did not do the flexible fitness yesterday and today. This makes me feel frustration. I wish do the best for my day. I try to keep my mind peaceful. It is not really easy. I do struggle every day and I really wanting to know when to stop. Okay…um…Today I had to go out with my family. It is not my mood but I had to.

Tonight I frustrated with AVS Audio Editor don’t allow me to put the music to my song. I don’t get it. Why can’t they let me keep my dream true? Well, people enjoy ruining my dream because they think that my dream is nothing. I am so tired of that. I wish them finish. I’m serious. They need to grow up and get a life. Okay, from now on, I need peace to me.  

I do Flexibility Exercise

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

I got up at about 6:30am. I did flexibility exercise and I felt little bit used since December 3, 2012. I have learned a lot from it. It is still challenged me, I keep practice more because of I’m still a beginner. I got to work on my strength and how to flexible my body.

Today I don’t go out, I just chill at home. I watched the videos that educate me are flexibility exercise and Deaf Wellness Centre. I learn how to prevent from flu, lead poison and asthma. I need to keep my room clean and clean my whole home every day because of I see the spiders, cockroaches, ants, bed bugs and tiny lizards. I’m not a cleaner but I need to be and that is very important for my health’s sake. Okay, that is all for tonight. 

No Dental Appointment for Me

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

I woke up at 5:00am and watched the flexible fitness tutorial videos. And then I did what they teach me for 30 minutes. It is really challenged me. But I keep practicing every day for the sake of my health: mind and body.

I was supposed to eat breakfast but postpone because of I was not yet done with the flexible fitness tutorial videos but to do that later tonight. Additionally, Mother interrupted me about that she needed my identifications for the housing appointment. I copied these identification papers of mine and left them on the dining table before I left home for my first dental appointment at 10:30am. Oh, no. I have a problem with dental appointment at Coast Dental. They said that they don’t accept my health insurance. I was like why they said they accept my before appointment today? That does not make sense to me. I am going to write a business letter and explain that situation and why they said that. My health agent, Marie said good idea on business letter. I’m going to do it tomorrow. For now on, I need rest. 

My Cooking Skills

Monday, January 7, 2013

I woke up at 8:00am but I got up real late. Is something wrong with me? Life is not easy when it come to my body. My body need more relax but I’m a restless on my writing and perform stuff.

Mother needs me to help her cook for dinner because she needs rest. Okay, I cooked spaghetti and my sister put shrimps and Alfred sauce on it. She insulted me about someone told her that my cooking skills on rice is not great. I mad with little bit calm and I checked Mother of what’s up with my rice. Father did not say anything about my rice when Mother and my sister were gone to Puerto Rico for Jennifer Lopez’s concert. When cooking done, we prayed God and ate together. 

Different Belief and Interest and Performed Speak in ASL

Saturday, January 6, 2013

Yesterday, I missed God’s Word journal and writing this blog. Jehovah knows the reason is my body was not energized due to the late of watching the movie Machine Gun Preacher. That movie is based on the true story of Sam Childers’ life. He came to rescue children in the war zone of South Sudan. His religion is Assembly of God. I remember Betty was in that religion and now is a member of Jehovah’s Witnesses. She told me that her former Assembly of God religion is almost same as Jehovah’s Witnesses but is more different. So I am going to research Assembly of God and see if it is right for God’s favour. I know all false religions that Jehovah shows me in Revelation 18:4. I need to keep remembering that scripture. Ok, um…I did attend to the house of Jehovah and learn the first meeting explained about how to resist Satan and world. I thought the word ‘desire’ is normal for human but interest to what a brother’s belief is different.

In late night also, I prepared for ASL music video of Speak and then started to perform. With the type of dance was swing. I wore the black top tank shirt (the thick one), dark blue jean, and the black heeling shoes. I put the make-up on. These colours were blue eyelids, black eyeliners & mascara, purple lipstick (actually gloss), and light beige powder with line cheeks colour kind of red of MAC. I wore the silver oval earrings. And my hairstyle was med bob with bang. Also, my nails colours were blue and black. That is all I did. Maybe tonight I will sing that song “Speak”. And then, later on I’m going to edit and produce will be a good pose as I hope so. Let’s see. 

The Financial Situation I Made Mistake and Move On

Friday, January 4, 2013

I got up real, real late, wow. I don’t know what’s up, but I slept after midnight because of my sister begged me to watch her favourite Japanese singer, Gackt’s movie. The name of that is Bunraku. That was a cool movie. Anyway, the point is that she does not let me to have more times for myself since I moved out from my own in 2010 due to my financial problems. I really want to live alone so that I can get a quiet place which there is nobody bother me. It is hard for me to live with my parents and my sister because they really need me. Mother said that I can’t live alone. What is her biggest point? I’m a woman and I don’t need them. I can take care of myself. But I understand that Jehovah commands me comply the scripture at Ephesians 6:1, 2. Well, I wish that I haven’t sharing with her in my 2009-10 financial situations. But, it is too late. I regret in the past that I did not learn a lesson. If I haven’t sharing with Mother, then I don’t live with my parents and sister in Tampa today. I’d lived in Rochester by myself (not in the area of Bond’s home) today. But again, it is too late. Now on I need to move on and suffer to go through with this tough time. I know that I can’t change the past. It’s over. Past is past. Now I work on my depression that I struggle is mindfulness skills which taught by my former therapist in Rochester. She is professional therapist. I have subscribed her as she is still being my therapist. Ok, my life is still working on how I deal with people who I know. I can’t wait for Jehovah to end the drama. But He is a loving God. He teaches me how to love Him and love His people despite they still be imperfect human. I currently do God’s Word journal as a book report in what I learn. (John 17:3) I thank God for the gifts, Bible and the people who hang out with me am not lonely. Also, He made everything in the beginning of Genesis 1:1 since today I do see what Jehovah did. It is impossible for men to do these.

Now time for me to go and tomorrow I’m going to the house of Jehovah. 

Making Breakfast and Out to do Shopping

Thursdays, January 3, 2013

Again I woke up at 6:10am. Geez. But a good thing was not that bad. I did do flexibility a little earlier. And after that, I made breakfast for me and Noki. But she did not feel like eating breakfast. Okay, I ate it myself.

After eleven in the morning, I went to Wal-Mart and Wholesale food (I’m not sure, I forget, anyway.) with my family and buy rent, material items and food. And then we got back home.

Life Is Not Good

Wednesdays, January 2, 2013

I woke up at 6:50am, oh, no. Why is that happened? Because my mobile phone did not fully wake me up at 5:00am. I am supposed to wake… 5:00am every day. Because of my routine is important like I need to finish up before a day such like my family need which I take a break from my home school and self-employed. It is not easy. Because of it is incident in this system.

At almost ten in the morning, I helped Mother to do breakfast. Her mood is needed to be improved. I want her to be happy. I know life is not good in the world where we live in the tough times. We are going through with these crises. It is not fun.

Tonight in meeting, oh, uh, I’m bad. I was hysterically laughing at emotional Gina about that she was trying to prepare her speech with other spiritual sister (I’m not sure what her name is but anyway…) Patty asked me of what funny I am. I told her nothing because I don’t want to share it with her.

Rachel Competed Against Leah, Hurt my Knee

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

I woke up at 5:00am but I got up at 5:30am. I did mediate spiritually by writing the point I learn from Genesis chapter 29. I learn that Rachel was competing against her older sister, Leah about who is having children. She finished knew that God is the only one who made her have no children which explained by Jacob. And it is really interesting about her father; Laban tricked Jacob for marrying Leah first and then Rachel because of the country Haran rule. In significant the older is always marry first and then second is younger.

I did do flexibility this morning and my right knee felt bit hurt. This is why I don’t use it that much. I just start to do flexibility as a beginner on December 3, 2012. And, somewhat, it reminds me of what I did in Rochester.

I took an unhealthy nap between 10:15am to 1:05pm. Wow! It is something wrong with me. Maybe because of my knee makes I feel so tired. I think I need my knee to be more rested.

My Half-Sister and the Dogs

Monday, October 29, 2012

My family and I visited to my half-sister’s house for chatting and playing with the dogs. She owns the home dogs and street dogs. She loves the dogs and so I do. And, Noki loves the dogs, too. My half-sister know some English, Noki and I understand her. Noki is helping her to groom her home dogs. One mother dog has five newborn puppies that recently born on October 3^rd. I want to own the girl puppy. The color of it is tan and white, but I can’t have it because of it seem not allow to carry it in the airport. Also, my apartment is currently not the best place for that puppy because of never know if she will be growing big in the future. 

Beach in Fajardo

Saturday, October 27, 2012

My cousin and his son were walking on the shore.

I went to the beach in Fajardo with my family, aunt, cousins, and their kids. My cousin watched his two sons while playing in the water and building the castle with the other kids. I swam and enjoyed but I felt itchy on my sensitive skin from majice. It is not funny. Also, the fish touched me while I swam in the edge shadow of the ocean. After one of my relatives picked that fish up, I observed it. It looks nice and cute.

The Cool El Yunque National Forest

Thursday, October 25, 2012

We were walking through the cool forest.

The red flower

You can't see me.

I went to El Yunque National Forest with my family. We walked through the forest and observed the nature. There we saw the kind people who exercised for their health. And we saw them enjoyed swimming in the waterfall’s pond. Too bad that I did not wear the swimming suit because of me did not know that we go to El Yunque today. What an unexpected day! But is better than nothing, my feet lied on the pond and felt cool and fresh. I enjoyed it and loved it. We have a nice time today. 

My Visit to Uncle Mario’s House

Monday, October 22, 2012

I visited to my uncle, Mario’s house with my family. My cousin, Darwin, learns how to speak English. He needs to keep practicing English. I’m glad that he wants to learn English and that is good for him. He has a cute dog. The kind of it is French bulldog. It is a boy. His personality is calm and caring. He can take care of himself and not need a help from his owner. I like it. I think that I will want one in the future. Okay, I had a nice time with them include Darwin’s mother, Mario’s wife which is called my aunt, too. I don’t see my two other cousins, too. But luckily, they are gone to marry someone they loved. They start to have their new life which is nice. 

Leaving Utuado

Sunday, October 20, 2012

The purple hotel is where I slept.

I left Utuado for Ponce and then to relative inn of Yoa with my family and Aunt and Uncle. I had a nice time. But today was exhaustive with a severe bite on my neck. This is not so fun. 

A Trip to Utaudo

Friday, October 19, 2012

Today I left my aunt, Yoa’s house at noon for a trip to Utaudo with my family and aunt, Minerva and Uncle Rene. This is my first time as well as my family. I viewed Utaudo is beautiful. It contains the green mountains with the lake. I wonder what we will do tomorrow. Will we go on the boat? I’d wish to. The last boat I went was in Canandaigua Bay with Sacks couple, Ester, and other from English congregation. It was a beautiful view. Maybe I will go there again next year with my family. 

La Bella Maunabo

Saturday, October 6, 2012

After meeting, I went to Maunabo with my family, my aunt and my cousin include toddler boy. I have pictures to tell you what these are about. So enjoy viewing, we had a nice time.

Belle isle d'Maunabo

Tres belle isle d'Maunabo

Maunabo Lighthouse

No one want to go through this.

Beautiful view in Maunabo water.

Me in the Beautiful Maunabo.

We were walking through the forest palms.

Petite Forest

A Visit to My Aunt and Her Pit Bull with my Family

Friday, October 5, 2012

Three days ago, my family and I were flying to Puerto Rico for visiting to our big relatives. Today I visited to my half aunt with my family. She has so cute female pit bull. Her name is Perla. This dog is so excited to meet us, so cute. But sadly, we needed to leave. 

No Right Man Found in the Big Spiritual Session

September 15 & 16, 2012

During the Big Spiritual Session, sadly, I can’t find the right man. They all are not interesting to meet me. However, they are not my taste. I wish that I can live in my dream with Arnaud as is reality. But it is not reality. That is too bad for me. I have to accept where I am right now. The Big Spiritual Session was somewhat nice time. Some very few are nice, but mostly they are not. Well, they are not perfect anyway. So I have to forgive them. Oh, well. I’m learning how to forgive their religious thinking mistake.  

A Young Deaf Man of Peru

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

I met a young deaf man’s name is Marvin Gonzalez. He is from Peru. His ASL is a fine language. He’s funny. He have been living in Florida for 9 years and soon he need to leave United States of America for the next two weeks due to economy which he can’t find a job and also, struggle with the deaf friendship issue-DRAMA! I already know that not the only deaf drama, there is the hearing drama, too, additionally. I still have a bitch issue, too. She never changes and so I have to accept and move on. Ok anyway, focus on Marvin told me and Nacho, a Mexican brother that he has a deaf friend who is a nice guy. His name is Victor. The hand sign of that name is almost gay viewed by Nacho. LOL. That is so funny. I love his facial expression. I have a great time today, positively. 

I Cleaned the White Wall

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

This afternoon, I cleaned the white wall out of the black spots. I am wondering where these are coming from. Maybe the bugs like spider, cockroach, and others go to the bathroom and pee and poop on the wall. So when I see the black spots again, I clean. Because of I don’t want to see the black spots on the wall.

Money Order

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

I went to the VA hospital with my parents today and then to the money order area. I picked money order, not my credit card for sending to the gym. It cost me USD 25.00 for changing the location a 25 miles and up. A lesson I learn is to not follow the people offer me a gym with paying the bill. I now know that there a gym within free are inside the apartment have, exercise in my bedroom, and outside walking or running because since I am not a wealthy lady. I don’t work, I’m still looking for a job and it is so hard for me. I wish soon have a job. 

Frustrated to Call All Day

Friday, August 31, 2012

I am frustrating with the phone calls. I spend a lot times with that calls. And I feel disgrace and waste my time. Why are these calls worth? I find a clue that I have to use my body function to the place instead of making a call at home. I get it because of the governor want people to keep doing and not be lazy. And therefore, he believes that lazy get nothing. This match to what the proverbs say to him. It is very interesting to me. I have to apply the proverbs every day. Well, proverbs help me to make a wise decision. Calling the phone is not easy, just motive it.